Nervous about your first SA meeting? Don’t be! If anything, you should feel relieved and comfortable knowing that everyone in the room is in the same boat as you. You’re finally not alone.
Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) meetings can be quite intimidating to newcomers who have seen they are powerless over lust and need help.
Early on in sobriety is an uncomfortable time and blindly stepping into the meeting without knowing any of the rules, traditions or what to expect adds to this discomfort. The last thing this individual needs is to be confronted about an “rule” with which he/she is not familiar.
Firstly, it’s a sign of humility for the newcomer to listen more than they speak. Newcomers usually know quite little about leading a sober, healthy life and the best way to learn is from the experience and sharing of others. This isn’t to say that you need to be silent. We would love to hear your story but while you are new, it’s probably best for you to prioritize listening and understanding over sharing.
Our SA meetings usually discuss not only topics relating to the addiction but also other issues going on in members’ lives which may lead to slipping back into addiction.
For newcomers though, it’s best to begin by only sharing about the addiction and what lead to you coming to the meeting and seeking help.
Cell Phones
Please turn off your cell phones or switch them on airplane mode at the beginning of the meeting. If you’re expecting an important call, turn your phone on silent to minimize the disturbance, then take your call outside.
Moving Around
It’s considered rude to get up after the SA meeting begins. The meeting is usually only an hour long so usually everyone can use the washroom, get coffee or such before or after the meeting. Once you start sharing, you may see how distracting it can be if others move around.
Crosstalk
Most SA meetings (ours) do not permit crosstalk. Sharing should be confined to the topic or chapter which was just read and how it relates to your own experiences.
Talking While Others Share
Public speaking is the #1 fear in the world. #2 is death. Understandably, public speaking causes a lot of anxiety in many people. For that person to hear side conversations going on at the same time is not only distracting but it conveys a message that those people are not listening and do not care what you have to say.
What to Expect
Not a lot of pre-meeting talk happens if everyone arrives right on time. Usually the meeting begins by turning off cell phones and reading (as a group), the serenity prayer.
A leader for that meeting will take care of the initial reading of the “rules” (ie. no crosstalk).
The meeting will then start with the group reading a chapter from one of the SA books followed by SA members sharing, if they choose to.
The leader will then share the end of meeting reading and take the 7th Tradition. 7th tradition is basically cash donations to help cover the cost of the meeting place and literature.
The meeting for the evening is concluded by standing, hand in hand and saying the Lord’s Prayer.
Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Meetings which have newcomers at them are generally much more forgiving of “mistakes” so they’re a good place to learn the format, traditions and rules of a typical SA meeting.
There you have it. A typical SA meeting from start to finish. Contact us and come check out a meeting for yourself.