Meeting Etiquette

Nervous about your first SA meeting? Don't be.

If anything, you should feel relieved and comfortable knowing that everyone in the room is in the same boat as you. You're finally not alone.

SA meetings can feel intimidating to newcomers who have just recognized they're powerless over lust and need help. Early sobriety is an uncomfortable time, and stepping into a meeting without knowing the rules or traditions adds to that discomfort. The last thing anyone needs is to be corrected about a rule they didn't know existed — so here's what to expect.

It's a sign of humility for a newcomer to listen more than they speak. Newcomers usually know little about leading a sober, healthy life, and the best way to learn is from the experience of others. That doesn't mean staying silent — we'd love to hear your story — but early on, it's usually best to prioritize listening and understanding over sharing.

Our meetings often cover not just the addiction itself but other issues in members' lives that could lead to a relapse. For newcomers, though, it's best to start by sharing about the addiction and what led you to seek help.

Cell Phones

Please turn off your phone or switch it to airplane mode at the start of the meeting. If you're expecting an important call, put it on silent and step outside to take it.

Moving Around

It's considered rude to get up once the meeting begins. Meetings usually run about an hour, so most people can use the washroom or get coffee beforehand or after. Once you start sharing, you'll notice how distracting it is when others move around.

Crosstalk

Most SA meetings, including ours, don't permit crosstalk. Sharing should stay focused on the topic or chapter that was just read, and how it relates to your own experience.

Talking While Others Share

Public speaking is the world's #1 fear — death is #2. For someone working up the courage to share, side conversations are distracting and signal that people aren't listening.

What to Expect

There's usually not much pre-meeting talk if everyone arrives on time. The meeting typically opens with phones off and a group reading of the Serenity Prayer.

That meeting's leader reads through the format and any ground rules, like no crosstalk. The group then reads a chapter from SA literature, followed by members sharing if they choose to. The leader closes with a final reading and the 7th Tradition — a cash collection to help cover the meeting space and literature.

The evening ends standing, hand in hand, saying the Lord's Prayer.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Meetings with several newcomers tend to be more forgiving of “mistakes,” so they're a good place to learn the format and rules of a typical SA meeting.

That's a typical SA meeting, start to finish. Contact us and come check one out for yourself.